Are you afraid of dying? Or are you afraid of not having lived enough?
With everything that’s going on in the world right now, there’s a lot of fear spreading almost as quickly as this virus. The fear leads to panic, hysteria, hoarding and a me-over-you mentality. It’s not helping anyone. But it’s not enough to tell people to not be afraid. It’s more helpful to ask yourself: what are you really afraid of?
Are you afraid of death? Of losing a loved one? Of losing sources of income or possessions? Some fears are justified. Some may put a mirror in front of us that we are too attached to material possessions. That we identify with the physical body too much instead of being aware of our immortality as eternal sparks of divinity.
I am not afraid of death but I am not ready yet. Do you know that feeling? That you still have so much to experience, contribute and create in this life?
The Greek have a world for it: entelechy. Every living being in the universe comes with a divine intention, a purpose, and a code for its unfoldment. It’s the purpose of the seed to become a rose. It’s the purpose of the acorn to become an oak tree. All the seed needs are the right conditions around it to ignite its development: the right soil, the right amount of sunlight and water. Some even need fire to start to sprout.
We too come with a blueprint of the soul, a divine intention for our lives and a purpose. But many of us feel like we are not really realizing our potential. What are the right conditions that help our soul to manifest its greatness? What are the wrong conditions that keep us feeling disconnected from our purpose and like life is passing us by?
I think it was – and still is – my own doubts and fears that kept me from blossoming for so long. The feeling that only so much is possible. Or even the thought of: who am I deserve all this? Success, love, a happy life? I put a glass ceiling on my own growth. I’ve isolated myself from others not showing my vulnerability. I was ashamed of my failures. As I stopped believing I also stopped trying.
As I was sitting outside in my garden this week observing the bees humming in my orange tree I realized the sun doesn’t make a distinction between one acorn and the other. It doesn’t say: “you deserve to become an oak tree and you don’t.” Or “there are too many oak trees in the world anyway.”
Times like the current ones, when there is so much uncertainty about what the future holds, bring more focus. What am I really afraid of? What is holding me back from living the divine intention of my life? How can I hold a torch of light, love, and hope?
Today, I am starting with showing up for myself.