Do you know that moment, when your heart is just wide open, expanding indefinitely? And your whole being is overflowing with joy? The scent of change is in the air and you feel drunk with the excitement of endless possibilities and new beginnings. You‘ve just realized you‘re falling in love. Or you‘ve decided to move countries or to finally quite that job and you‘re walking out of the building for the last time.
And then, 1 minute (or an hour, a day or a month) later you are collapsing into yourself. You‘re shrinking back into your smallest self. The negative voices creep in. There‘s so much that could go wrong.The opportunity for success or failure is so immense, it takes your breath away.
This feeling of expanding and contracting at the same time is what I call the Razor‘s Edge. I know it because I‘ve been there. In the last 5 years I‘ve moved countries twice, I fell in love and I left my well paid job to start my own business. I‘ve felt the paralysis, the inability to move forward, the knowledge that going back isn’t an option either. I had moments when I felt at a complete standstill, a limbo, a vacuum. All I could do was to close my eyes, breathe and take the next step.
They call it a leap of faith. But it isn’t always a leap. Sometimes it‘s just the resolution to keep moving, and keep the faith. Standing on the razor‘s edge calls forth my deepest and most spiritual qualities. Feeling the fear and holding love in my heart despite of it. Getting knocked down, struggle and still getting up – again and again. It requires showing up in a new and different way, being present and available for the change, accepting the gifts and blessings.
I‘ve learned to trust that there‘s a higher authority – call it God, or Spirit, the Universe, or my Higher Self, that, through all the challenges and dark times, watches out for me and has my best interest at heart – even though I don‘t see it. When life has humbled me and I was falling down on my knees praying, crying out to the heavens: „I can’t do this alone. I need your help.“ I have always received an answer. A sign that yes, I am on the right path. I am doing the right thing. A confirmation of my inner knowing.
My life started to change – first subtly and then more and more – when In started to live more from my heart. And do things that nurtured my heart. I went back to that place deep inside me that‘s quiet, peaceful, full of wisdom and strength and reminded myself: what makes me happy? What do I love to do? What excites me? What am I passionate about? Where do I feel happy? That’s when my energy returned. I had ideas and the strength to follow the cues. To seize every opportunity. And I started to care less about what my fears and doubts and other people had to say.
Living from your heart and your soul means following what feels right – to you! Not what is reasonable or makes sense. It takes courage. And the willingness to make mistakes.
From the moment I moved to Mallorca two years ago my dream was to share the breathtaking beauty of this island, empowering people on their own transformational journey. Today, hosting retreats in Spain that nurture the heart, helping people to create a life they truly want to live, is what I do.