I would consider myself a spiritual person. But what does that mean really?
There are many notions going around of what it means to “be spiritual”. Does it mean you do some yoga, eat healthily and try to be a good person? Does it mean you meditate or pray regularly and follow a certain religion? Does it mean you believe in God or a Higher Power, a Higher Intelligence, the existence of angles and an unseen yet felt world? That you have faith in destiny and purpose?
It may mean all of this. And more.
Spirituality comes from spirit and I have come to the conclusion for myself that it means that the world I see is not a random creation and only the consequence of minerals, gases, and matter suddenly exploding and forming the earth. It means that I look at the world and at my life with a double awareness. There’s the material physical world I can perceive with my five senses. And there’s another dimension, an essence interweaving it. For every materialization, there’s a cause. Nothing exists without a reason and purpose.
It also means that I see the world as a mirror. It shows me parts of myself I wouldn’t be able to see or become aware of otherwise. Looking at the mirror might not always be much fun but it’s a way to grow and develop. There are lessons to be learned and things to be worked out. Another thing I believe in as a spiritually inclined person.
An innocent and well-meant comment from a friend about my stature and figure just recently really pushed my buttons and my emotions exploded all over the place. The shame, guilt, anxiety, and sadness of decades came to the surface and needed to find an outlet. Even while I was reacting I was aware that I wasn’t really angry with that person. This had to do more with my past than with what was going on in the present. I was getting angry because for me it wasn’t just a comment about a jacket I tried on that wouldn’t fit well but about the hundreds of jackets, skirts, and trousers I’ve tried on before. I was feeling hurt because I realized that this is an area of my life that I haven’t fully healed yet. Something I am still struggling with and that I need to balance and figure out.
Most of the time we get angry at the person who pushes the button instead of taking the time to look at our story, our limits, our beliefs of the past.
But being spiritual and really practicing it means taking the time and asking the uncomfortable question: what does this have to do with me? And these upsets show us what needs to be healed. And where the old wounds are. They are an opportunity to face our demons and heal the past.
Don’t let them pass you by because you feel hurt in the moment.